Tomorrow is another big day in my life. After the diagnosis of Invasive Ductile Carcinoma, it seems that everything in my life revolves around cancer…Treatment plans, chemotherapy, radiation treatments, and even surgery. It’s an amazing amount of information to digest, and be able to converse about. Tomorrow I go for my first chemotherapy treatment. I’ve met my Oncologist (a very nice man) and agree with him that treatment should be aggressive, so I opted to start right away.
I’ve been dumbfounded at the number of people in my sphere of influence who have either had breast cancer or know someone who has. Fortunately for my peace of mind they have all survived after various forms of treatment, some for a long while, and others for only a short while. People at work want to tell me about their spouses (usually wives) who have battled this disease and not only survived, but in at least 2 cases, gone on to have additional children and are living fulfilling lives. People at church are the same..survivors. There are 3 people in my Sunday School class who are currently battling other forms of cancer. I feel like I’m in good company.
Over the past 3 days I have received e-mails from many places that all say to me…Hang in there Kate, It’s going to be OK…It’s like God is sending me personal messages of hope and confidence. I don’t remember a time when I felt so supported and loved.
The people around me are positive, and offer me support. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “If there is anything I can do, please call me” or something to that effect. I’m thinking of making a list of chores around the house that I could use help with, and when someone offers that, give them a copy with the advice “IF there is anything on that list that you can do, please don’t hesitate to come by and do it. I’ll need as much support and help as I can get, and I would appreciate your help with any of these things.” That will do three things for me, and at least one thing for each of them. First, it will help me stay focused on what needs to be done, and give me a feeling of control (I can control something). Next it will give well meaning friends and family something concrete they can do to help me, and that will help them feel a part of my healing, without being involved in the “icky” parts. Finally it will get my surroundings cleaned, mowed, washed, swept, or whatever, and that will make me feel better just knowing things look nice. Win/Win situation for everyone!
My weight continues to go down, although not as quickly as before. I’ve begun eating a little more frequently in preparation for the chemo. Everything I’ve read on-line suggests that to combat the negative effects of chemo I should try to eat 4 to 6 times daily, and eat small meals. The small part isn’t hard, and so far the 4 times a day isn’t either. I’m branching out to things like granola bars, and yogurt for the 4th meal. Gives me a variety I didn’t have before. I don’t miss things like that as much. Also, I have a meeting with my Bariatric surgeon this Saturday morning at 8:30 a.m. to discuss my nutrition needs and the differences between eating for chemo and eating for gastric bypass. I know I’ll continue to take my supplements, might even double up on some of them.
I’m not anticipating any real trouble with the chemo. From everything I’ve been told by both friends and my Oncologist, they will give me drugs to counteract the nausea caused by chemo, and (here’s the big one) most of the side effects seem to come in a cumulative way. That is, they may not strike the first treatment, or even the second. We just have to wait and see how things go.
More about all of this during the weekend (I hope) after my first treatment. Then I’ll have something definite to report.
Meanwhile, have a wonderful Friday, and coming weekend.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A New Road to Walk
Hello from Texas
What a unique greeting, right?
Seems that Kate’s Grand Adventure has taken a turn down a new road. Yes, I’m still dealing with the gastric bypass, and all that means, but I have a new challenge to tackle and subdue, or overcome. Friday I had an appointment with my doctor and I got some “not so good” news. Seems I have something called Invasive Ductile Cancer, or IDC. What that translates to in plain everyday English is Breast Cancer. Mine is “stage 2” which means that my cancer is not only in my right breast, but also in the lymph glands under my right arm.
My breast surgeon (and I never thought I would write that particular phrase) is in a hurry to start treatments since I am at stage 2. She said I’m not stage 1 which is the earliest diagnosis, and means the cancer is only in the milk ducts of the breast and has not spread. Stage 2 means that the cancer has decided to spread out and has invaded at least one lymph node under my right arm. There are two more stages after this, but fortunately for me I got a guilty conscience when my heart doctor lectured me and went for the dreaded mammogram.
I go tomorrow (Monday) to have a port installed in my chest wall just below my collar bone on the left side. This will allow my oncologist (another phrase I didn’t think I’d ever say) to inject the chemo therapy directly above my heart, and that will allow my heart to disperse the chemo more quickly and efficiently. Evidently I am being scheduled for chemotherapy treatments weekly for the next 4 to 6 months. Up side to that is I get to start a new fashion trend at my work. Since I’ll be loosing my hair (at least that’s what the paperwork my doctor gave me said) and I have a whole wardrobe of hats and big earrings, my new look will be hats and gaudy ear rings. Can hardly wait!
After the chemo I will have 6 to 8 weeks of radiation therapy on a daily basis. The paperwork says that this won’t make my hair fall out. Not too sure why she put that since my hair will be gone if not from the chemo then from the bypass! The radiation is, evidently, very finely focused and will only be aimed at 4 to 6 sites within the breast, and several sites in the lymph node.
After these two treatment “Modalities” I will go through several tests including MRI, bone scans, and CT of my chest, abdomen and pelvis. These will be to see if the tumors have been reduced, and to be sure the cancer has not spread to any other sites. These tests may be combined with a newer test called a PET scan, but I’m not too sure about this test. I’ll learn more as time goes by. Other things my doctor is going to be watching is my bone density, I don’t want to develop osteoporosis, and my heart, as evidently chemo and radiation can be heard on the old ticker.
After all these treatments (it looks like at least 6 months to a year of various treatments) I will be evaluated for surgery. If the treatments have successfully reduced the tumors, I may only need what is called a Lumpectomy. That’s where they go in and only remove part of the breast tissue. If not they will do a complete mastectomy. One of the concerns I have is if they only do a lumpectomy, will there still be cancer cells floating around in there that could settle again in my breast? If there is a chance of that happening I’d rather they just take the whole breast.
I’m also thinking about reconstruction. According to my Mother, (who faced most of these questions 2 years ago when she was diagnosed with Cancer), reconstruction is a lot of pain for something you don’t really need (the breast). But then again she is 80, and was 78 when facing those questions. She is also a “mini”, which means that although she is 5’6” she only weighs less than 120 and has never had more than a 36B. I, on the other hand, am 2 inches shorter but have always been buxomy. I asked my surgeon if it was possible to take tissue from my remaining breast (or tummy) and build another breast. I really don’t want silicone. She said that was a possibility. I must admit, I like the idea of being a B cup instead of a DD cup, so IF I decide on reconstruction, that is something I’m going to think about real hard.
According to everything I’ve read so far my attitude can have a very profound impact on my treatments, both in the success and the amount of nausea and pain I encounter. I’ve always been a very positive person so I’m thinking that I’ll not have as much pain, etc as some of the horror stories I’ve heard. Besides my positive attitude, I have a strong support group, and a very strong faith in God. The way I look at it, I’m almost 60 and in those years God has always taken superb care of me. There’s no reason he won’t do so now either.
Before you point out that I have cancer, and some people don’t consider that superb care, I must remind you that everyone has free will. Free Will has as much to do with how we care for our bodies as how we act in other arenas. I looked down a list of things that can contribute to a woman’s chances of getting breast cancer. There were 14 or 15 items on that list, including smoking, overweight, sedentary lifestyle, among other things. On that list I can claim all but one and that was drug usage. So my attitude is, IF I did the crime (not taking care of myself) then I have to pay the time…(or walk the line of cancer therapy).
Lastly for today, I figure that IF the cancer takes my life I’ll be in heaven with my Savior, and that’s a Win situation for me….WHEN I beat the cancer, I get to stay here and have more fun with friends and family…That is also a WIN situation for me. So whatever happens, I’m getting a win/win situation …who can argue with that?
Stay tuned for the next blog. Don’t know for sure when that will be, but I think I may be writing you a bit more often than I did before. Pray for me…I need it and you probably need the practice!
Kate
What a unique greeting, right?
Seems that Kate’s Grand Adventure has taken a turn down a new road. Yes, I’m still dealing with the gastric bypass, and all that means, but I have a new challenge to tackle and subdue, or overcome. Friday I had an appointment with my doctor and I got some “not so good” news. Seems I have something called Invasive Ductile Cancer, or IDC. What that translates to in plain everyday English is Breast Cancer. Mine is “stage 2” which means that my cancer is not only in my right breast, but also in the lymph glands under my right arm.
My breast surgeon (and I never thought I would write that particular phrase) is in a hurry to start treatments since I am at stage 2. She said I’m not stage 1 which is the earliest diagnosis, and means the cancer is only in the milk ducts of the breast and has not spread. Stage 2 means that the cancer has decided to spread out and has invaded at least one lymph node under my right arm. There are two more stages after this, but fortunately for me I got a guilty conscience when my heart doctor lectured me and went for the dreaded mammogram.
I go tomorrow (Monday) to have a port installed in my chest wall just below my collar bone on the left side. This will allow my oncologist (another phrase I didn’t think I’d ever say) to inject the chemo therapy directly above my heart, and that will allow my heart to disperse the chemo more quickly and efficiently. Evidently I am being scheduled for chemotherapy treatments weekly for the next 4 to 6 months. Up side to that is I get to start a new fashion trend at my work. Since I’ll be loosing my hair (at least that’s what the paperwork my doctor gave me said) and I have a whole wardrobe of hats and big earrings, my new look will be hats and gaudy ear rings. Can hardly wait!
After the chemo I will have 6 to 8 weeks of radiation therapy on a daily basis. The paperwork says that this won’t make my hair fall out. Not too sure why she put that since my hair will be gone if not from the chemo then from the bypass! The radiation is, evidently, very finely focused and will only be aimed at 4 to 6 sites within the breast, and several sites in the lymph node.
After these two treatment “Modalities” I will go through several tests including MRI, bone scans, and CT of my chest, abdomen and pelvis. These will be to see if the tumors have been reduced, and to be sure the cancer has not spread to any other sites. These tests may be combined with a newer test called a PET scan, but I’m not too sure about this test. I’ll learn more as time goes by. Other things my doctor is going to be watching is my bone density, I don’t want to develop osteoporosis, and my heart, as evidently chemo and radiation can be heard on the old ticker.
After all these treatments (it looks like at least 6 months to a year of various treatments) I will be evaluated for surgery. If the treatments have successfully reduced the tumors, I may only need what is called a Lumpectomy. That’s where they go in and only remove part of the breast tissue. If not they will do a complete mastectomy. One of the concerns I have is if they only do a lumpectomy, will there still be cancer cells floating around in there that could settle again in my breast? If there is a chance of that happening I’d rather they just take the whole breast.
I’m also thinking about reconstruction. According to my Mother, (who faced most of these questions 2 years ago when she was diagnosed with Cancer), reconstruction is a lot of pain for something you don’t really need (the breast). But then again she is 80, and was 78 when facing those questions. She is also a “mini”, which means that although she is 5’6” she only weighs less than 120 and has never had more than a 36B. I, on the other hand, am 2 inches shorter but have always been buxomy. I asked my surgeon if it was possible to take tissue from my remaining breast (or tummy) and build another breast. I really don’t want silicone. She said that was a possibility. I must admit, I like the idea of being a B cup instead of a DD cup, so IF I decide on reconstruction, that is something I’m going to think about real hard.
According to everything I’ve read so far my attitude can have a very profound impact on my treatments, both in the success and the amount of nausea and pain I encounter. I’ve always been a very positive person so I’m thinking that I’ll not have as much pain, etc as some of the horror stories I’ve heard. Besides my positive attitude, I have a strong support group, and a very strong faith in God. The way I look at it, I’m almost 60 and in those years God has always taken superb care of me. There’s no reason he won’t do so now either.
Before you point out that I have cancer, and some people don’t consider that superb care, I must remind you that everyone has free will. Free Will has as much to do with how we care for our bodies as how we act in other arenas. I looked down a list of things that can contribute to a woman’s chances of getting breast cancer. There were 14 or 15 items on that list, including smoking, overweight, sedentary lifestyle, among other things. On that list I can claim all but one and that was drug usage. So my attitude is, IF I did the crime (not taking care of myself) then I have to pay the time…(or walk the line of cancer therapy).
Lastly for today, I figure that IF the cancer takes my life I’ll be in heaven with my Savior, and that’s a Win situation for me….WHEN I beat the cancer, I get to stay here and have more fun with friends and family…That is also a WIN situation for me. So whatever happens, I’m getting a win/win situation …who can argue with that?
Stay tuned for the next blog. Don’t know for sure when that will be, but I think I may be writing you a bit more often than I did before. Pray for me…I need it and you probably need the practice!
Kate
Monday, May 11, 2009
Returning to work
Good morning and Happy Day after Mother’s Day
I’m sorry I didn’t post last week, but it was an extremely stressful week for me.
First, I returned to work after being off for 5 weeks. If you don’t think that was stressful, try stepping away from your job for 5 weeks with no one filling in and then go back! I had over 1500 e-mails to check out first thing. Almost 90% of those e-mails had to be logged in, and information from them had to be manually copied and posted to various logs. Then I was back only 2 days and I got 2 new projects assigned to me. My Boss told me he had been holding them for when I came back because he knew I could do them with a minimum of supervision, and could provide direction to the others on my team. Gee thanks, Boss!
Actually, returning to work was a wonderful thing, for several reasons. First, because getting out of the house and doing something constructive has made me begin to feel stronger, and my lack of strength was something that was really beginning to bother me. I’ve always been a strong woman, and not being able to do those things that I usually can was bugging me. The other reason, was because it confirmed that I was missed, needed, and still had a job. In these trying economic times that is always a concern.
Went to see my surgeon for my second post-op appointment. He is pleased with my progress overall, but he wants me to get more exercise. I told him that now that I’m back at work I’ll be getting at least 6 blocks of walking in daily. It’s 3 blocks from where I park to my building, so I figure going to and from will be a big improvement. I’m also going this week to check out a new Gym in the neighborhood. It’s called Planet Fitness. The price is right, the location is right, and if it’s pleasing on the inside I’ll probably join just so I have someplace to get some exercise on the weekends. Besides I think I might be a little more consistent with exercise other than walking if I’m paying for it.
Now for the statistics….I’ve lost another inch on my neck, another 2 inches on my hips, but, unfortunately nothing on the waist. Surgeon says that is probably due to the size of the cyst on my kidney. It isn’t shrinking as I loose weight. I can tell the difference between my right and left sides. The cyst makes my left side look larger, and feel harder. The right side really shows the weight loss, and everything seems to be much mushier. You know, when you are heavy your belly feels kinda hard, but when you loose it gets soft and almost mushy? Well I have the hard on the left and the mushy on the right. I haven’t started buying new clothes yet, so you can’t tell, but I can feel it. Surgeon says I should contact my kidney doctor and see about having it drained. The kidney doctor said that was a possibility back last year when I saw him. I may do that, depending on what happens next Friday.
Next Friday has the other stressor for me, and the big news for you. Last Friday I had biopsies taken from my right breast and the lymph node under my arm. This coming Friday I will receive the results on whether or not I have cancer. Strangely I was more afraid of the biopsies than I was of the cancer verdict. I guess that’s because about 30 years ago (when I was pregnant with my younger daughter) the OB/GYN discovered that I had the beginnings of uterine cancer. He wanted me to have an abortion and immediate hysterectomy. I said not only no but HELL NO. I carried my daughter almost full term, but in the 7th month of my pregnancy the cancer started to grow, and we decided to do a hysterectomy near the middle of the 8th month. So I checked into the hospital, and a couple days later I had a beautiful baby girl, and no more baby-factory.
Anyway, I’ve faced the Big C scare already, and weathered the storm. Even more than that, my faith will sustain me. I truly believe that whatever is God’s will for me, will be completed, and I know both from experience and from His Word that He won’t give me more to deal with than I can handle with him. So, next Friday I get the word. Either way, I’m confident that it will work out, and I’m not scared.
Younger daughter LH wants more pictures, and some full body shots, so I’ll try to get someone to take some this week. Then you’all will see what 55 pounds of weight loss looks like on me. Mostly I think it shows in my face, but you will be able to judge.
Till Friday, or perhaps next weekend, I’ll be loosing weight and praising God for ALL his blessings.
Kate
I’m sorry I didn’t post last week, but it was an extremely stressful week for me.
First, I returned to work after being off for 5 weeks. If you don’t think that was stressful, try stepping away from your job for 5 weeks with no one filling in and then go back! I had over 1500 e-mails to check out first thing. Almost 90% of those e-mails had to be logged in, and information from them had to be manually copied and posted to various logs. Then I was back only 2 days and I got 2 new projects assigned to me. My Boss told me he had been holding them for when I came back because he knew I could do them with a minimum of supervision, and could provide direction to the others on my team. Gee thanks, Boss!
Actually, returning to work was a wonderful thing, for several reasons. First, because getting out of the house and doing something constructive has made me begin to feel stronger, and my lack of strength was something that was really beginning to bother me. I’ve always been a strong woman, and not being able to do those things that I usually can was bugging me. The other reason, was because it confirmed that I was missed, needed, and still had a job. In these trying economic times that is always a concern.
Went to see my surgeon for my second post-op appointment. He is pleased with my progress overall, but he wants me to get more exercise. I told him that now that I’m back at work I’ll be getting at least 6 blocks of walking in daily. It’s 3 blocks from where I park to my building, so I figure going to and from will be a big improvement. I’m also going this week to check out a new Gym in the neighborhood. It’s called Planet Fitness. The price is right, the location is right, and if it’s pleasing on the inside I’ll probably join just so I have someplace to get some exercise on the weekends. Besides I think I might be a little more consistent with exercise other than walking if I’m paying for it.
Now for the statistics….I’ve lost another inch on my neck, another 2 inches on my hips, but, unfortunately nothing on the waist. Surgeon says that is probably due to the size of the cyst on my kidney. It isn’t shrinking as I loose weight. I can tell the difference between my right and left sides. The cyst makes my left side look larger, and feel harder. The right side really shows the weight loss, and everything seems to be much mushier. You know, when you are heavy your belly feels kinda hard, but when you loose it gets soft and almost mushy? Well I have the hard on the left and the mushy on the right. I haven’t started buying new clothes yet, so you can’t tell, but I can feel it. Surgeon says I should contact my kidney doctor and see about having it drained. The kidney doctor said that was a possibility back last year when I saw him. I may do that, depending on what happens next Friday.
Next Friday has the other stressor for me, and the big news for you. Last Friday I had biopsies taken from my right breast and the lymph node under my arm. This coming Friday I will receive the results on whether or not I have cancer. Strangely I was more afraid of the biopsies than I was of the cancer verdict. I guess that’s because about 30 years ago (when I was pregnant with my younger daughter) the OB/GYN discovered that I had the beginnings of uterine cancer. He wanted me to have an abortion and immediate hysterectomy. I said not only no but HELL NO. I carried my daughter almost full term, but in the 7th month of my pregnancy the cancer started to grow, and we decided to do a hysterectomy near the middle of the 8th month. So I checked into the hospital, and a couple days later I had a beautiful baby girl, and no more baby-factory.
Anyway, I’ve faced the Big C scare already, and weathered the storm. Even more than that, my faith will sustain me. I truly believe that whatever is God’s will for me, will be completed, and I know both from experience and from His Word that He won’t give me more to deal with than I can handle with him. So, next Friday I get the word. Either way, I’m confident that it will work out, and I’m not scared.
Younger daughter LH wants more pictures, and some full body shots, so I’ll try to get someone to take some this week. Then you’all will see what 55 pounds of weight loss looks like on me. Mostly I think it shows in my face, but you will be able to judge.
Till Friday, or perhaps next weekend, I’ll be loosing weight and praising God for ALL his blessings.
Kate
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